


“Ask Me”

by LazyGeisha



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Fluff, I have no excuses just apologies, I honestly have no idea why this exists, M/M, Unbeta'd - we die like men!, post 3x18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 03:50:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18513316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyGeisha/pseuds/LazyGeisha
Summary: He pulled a small box out of his pocket and threw it to Alec. “And bring you this. You forgot it.”Catching it in mid air – Shadowhunter reflexes – the other man flatly stated “I didn’t forget it, I don’t need it. I’ll never need it.” Magnus didn’t know words could cut so deep, hurt so much. It was a struggle to remain upbeat when he spoke. “Never say never, Alexander.”“Alec.”Magnus winced, but pressed on. “Ask me.”“Ask you what?” Alec’s voice was guarded.





	“Ask Me”

**Author's Note:**

> This would _never_ happen in the series, this isn't even the way it happened on my head, but OH WELL. I just need to get this out before it drives me insane. 
> 
> Um, hi. So, this is not my first time writing fanfiction, however it's my first (and probably _ONLY_ ) Shadowhunter story. I almost hesitate to post it because it's a HUGE fandom with so many stories - all of which are fantastic. It's difficult to work up the courage to feel like I am worthy of adding anything to it 
> 
> I don't even like these kind of stories, the ones that go "maybe this'll happen" - there's nothing wrong with them, they just aren't my "thing", yet I wrote one anyway. I have no excuses, just apologies. 
> 
> This is the part in all my fics where I tell you it's not beta'd - although mansikka DID offer I'm too much of an arrogant ass to agree to that - and while I try and catch mistakes, some slip through and I keep reediting until I find them all. Generally a week later. *sigh*

He woke up with a start, head aching and a mouth that felt like he’d eaten a sand dune. _Alexander. Alexander had broken up with him._ Fresh pain coursed through him, hot and searing, almost masking the odd tingling in his veins he hadn’t felt since he’d lost his magic. With his eyes still closed, he reflexively he reached out and summoned his phone, dropping it in shock when the device actually appeared in his hands. _What the hell?_ And why the fuck was he back in his loft? His fully furnished with is very own furnishings loft?!?!! What the FUCK?!?!? He stumbled in to the bathroom, overwhelmed with the knowledge that he’d been unconscious for a whole week. Then he noticed the message scrawled in red on his bathroom mirror: _A gift for my beloved son – Asmodeus_. _Shit._ Gifts from his father were never good, never brought anything but heartache.

He tried a few more minor spells, though; summoning drinks, books off his shelf, a croissant from the place in Paris he and Alec loved so much. _Alexander._ He needed to call him, let him know that his magic was back – how or why he had no idea – he was whole again.

The number of messages he’d missed was startling, so many from Isabelle, several from his friends asking where the hell he was, one from Cat simply saying “I’m sorry.” Confused, Magnus checked the date on his phone; he’d lost a whole week. Alec had broken up with him a week ago. Frantic, he called Alec, his hands shaking when it went right to voicemail. He tried again, same thing. Magnus sent a text: _Are you okay?_ , it showed undelivered. He recalled all those messages from Isabelle, quickly finding her name in his message app. Scrolling through, his chest clenched. They started out with “Is Alec with you??” to “Magnus, Alec’s gone. Is he with YOU???” to “Answer me, Magnus, where’s Alec?!?!” finally to her last message: “You know what? Fuck you, Magnus. If I see you again, if you show up in front of my face, I’ll bring the whole of the Institute down on you.” His blood ran cold.

~~~

Despite what Isabelle promised, he portaled into the Institute, desperate for answers. Storming through the portal into the control room, he practically screamed “Where the fuck is Alexander!??!” when he caught sight of Alec’s sister. He’d never seen Isabelle Lightwood as furious as she was at that moment. She practically sneered at him as she bit off sarcastically, “Oh, I see you have your magic back, how nice for you, Magnus.” She continued, fire burning in her eyes. “You asshole. You fucking asshole. It’s been a whole week and _now_ you show up?” She pushed past him, out the door and down the hall towards Alec’s office. “Isabelle, I’ve been unconscious, literally unconscious.” There was almost a pleading note in his voice. “The last time I saw Alexander was as he was leaving your mother’s store after he…” He swallowed painfully. “After he broke up with me.” Magnus reached out to grab at her. “What the hell happened?!?!?”

Whirling around, raw anger laced her words. “All I know is that he went to see you last week at Mom’s.” She ran impatient hands through her hair, pulling it away from her face. “Apparently, sometime after that he came back here, grabbed his bow, arrows and only enough stuff to fit in a backpack. He left a note saying he quit, I should head The Institute now, and don’t look for him.” She looked his straight in the eyes as she added, “He left the note under the Lightwood Family ring.”

 _Had he- had he planned on proposing? Had Alexander planned on proposing that night he’d shown up drunk and raving about his not feeling like himself?_ Sick to his stomach, like he’d had too much to drink and rode every roller-coaster in the Tri-State Area, he closed his eyes and willed himself not to break down and sob. “I have no time for you, Magnus. You have your magic back. It cost me Alec.” Tears slid down her cheeks, however she made no move to wipe them away. “I hope you consider it a fair trade because I don’t.” Gesturing down the hall, she added, “If you aren’t going to help me find him then you need to leave. Now.”

He eyes flashed open on her words. “Wait, what do you mean my regaining my magic cost you Alec?” She flushed, her gaze slid from his as she turned back towards Alec’s – her – office. Magnus made a grab for her again. “Isabelle!”

“Magnus, stop. It’s not for me to say anything. Alec would..” Fresh tears fell from her eyes. “I can’t tell you anything.” Her eyes flashed to his. “But you should maybe think about timing and why you have your magic back now.” She waited until her words sank in and turned back to her office. _Asmodeus_.

“We’ll find him, Isabelle, I promise.” He pulled her into a hug, pouring every ounce of reassurance he wasn’t feeling into it. “And then he has a question to ask me.”

~~~

It was harder than he’d though it would be, trying to track down one Shadowhunter, it took them over two weeks. The Clave was getting angrier by the day, threatening to de-rune Alec when he _was_ found. They considered it the highest insubordination for the Head of the New York Institute to just up and quit – fully runed – and then disappear – fully runed. Isabelle had to plead with them for more time to find Alec before they sent a “team” to “retrieve him”.

Nothing he tried was working. It had taken a long time to find something with his DNA they could use as a tracker, Alexander had been _very_ thorough making sure there was nothing around before he left. He’d forgotten about the toothbrush at his mother’s, though, the one he’d used once and left behind. Magnus knew his spell worked, he tried it on Isabelle to make sure it worked, but he couldn’t find Alec. It was like he was being blocked, deliberately blocked. He pulled his hair, frantically trying to figure how anything other than a counterspell could block-   _That was it._ There was a counterspell blocking him from finding Alec, a counterspell that only another warlock could work. He paced around his loft, thinking who could have been persuaded to counter his spells. He dismissed Lorenzo Rey, knowing full well that he’d make sure both he and Alec suffered for all the stuff they’d put him through – his message to Magnus over the return of his loft still made Magnus cackle with glee. Then it hit him: _Catarina._ That message she’d sent him, a simple “I’m sorry.” She hadn’t contacted him since, which was odd since all his friend had been thrilled that his magic was back. It had to be Catarina, but why?

Pulling out his phone, he called Isabelle. “I think I know what’s going on, I’ll open you up a portal here.” Putting action to words, Isabelle walked through a few seconds later, “Where is he!?!?!”

“I don’t know yet, darling, but we’re off to see Catarina.” He clicked his fingers, changing his attire into something starker, darker, make-up slightly harsher.

“Catarina?”

Magnus opened a portal to Catarina’s hospital, grabbing Isabelle’s hand before walking through. “I have questions and I’m damn sure she has the answers.”

~~~

“I can’t tell you anything, Magnus. I’m so sorry, but I can’t.” They’d caught Catarina in the middle of work, pulling her into a closet to ask her why she’d set up the spell block on Alec. She had the grace to look like she wish’d she could, but she refused. “I swore on my Demon Mark, Magnus. You know what that means. I am forbidden to tell you anything, or you, Isabelle.” There was not much space in that storage closet to pace, but Magnus somehow managed it. “What can you say, Cat, can you tell us what happened?”

She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, her words coming out quietly. “Alec came to me that night, late. He asked me to open a portal to a specific place – where, I cannot tell you. He also asked that I set up a block so that you couldn’t find him, no tracking spell any warlock did could find him. He wanted to disappear, Magnus. He was hurting, in more pain than I have ever seen someone who wasn’t actually dying.” Her voice cracked on the words. “I also magicked him all his bank fund so that there would be no way to trace him through his accounts.” She reached out and gripped Isabelle’s hand. “I’m sorry, Isabelle, I really am. I don’t know what he would have done if I’d said no. At least..” She trailed off, catching Magnus’ hand with her own. “At least I knew he’d be safe if I helped. I’m sorry.”

“I know, Cat, I know.” He pulled Catarina into his arms, hugging her tight. “You did what you needed to do.” He released her and asked, “He asked you to swear on your Mark?”

She flushed and nodded slightly. “He looked really embarrassed about it, like he asked me something rude. Alec just didn’t want me to tell you or any other Shadowhunter, or _anyone_ who’d want to find him, his location.”

“Wait, is that exactly what he said when he made you promise? That you could _only_ not tell people who want to find him? That _only you_ could not tell anyone who’d want to find him?” Suppressed excitement coloured Magnus’ voice. _There’s a way. There’s a way!_

Looking confused, Catarina slowly nodded. “I.. I think that’s what he said?”

Grabbing her shoulders, he enunciated every word. “Please. Please. Think. Carefully. Catarina.” He caught her gaze. “It’s very, very, _very_ important you tell me _exactly_ what he made you promise.”

Again closing her eyes, inhaling deeply, Catarina was silent for a few moments. Her lids swept open, her gaze clear. “Alec said.. He asked me to swear on my Demon Mark that I would not tell Magnus Bane, another Shadowhunter or any other person who wanted to find him where exactly I portaled him.” She turned back to Magnus. “Does that help?”

His smile answered her question. “Have you ever played ‘Telephone’?”

~~~

“I can’t believe it was that simple.” Isabelle wandered up the forest path, negotiating the rocks in heels with a little difficulty.

“It wasn’t simple, it was just clever.” Magnus had the grace to tone down his smirk. “Do you want me to summon you some sneakers?”

“Hell no, I’ll die fashionable.” She grabbed his hand. “And yes, you are oh so clever.”

It had been so easy after that, simply finding a random Mundane stranger, someone who could have cared less who Alec Lightwood was and where he was. All Catarina had to do was tell them where Alec was, point them at Magnus and tell _them_ to tell _him_. Almost absurd in it’s simplicity.

Which is how they found themselves on a forest path in Alaska, three weeks after Alec disappeared, walking toward a decent sized cabin. Magnus stopped a few feet away from the front steps, whispering, “Isabelle, I think… I think it’s best that you don’t tell him I’m here yet.” He snapped his fingers, glamouring himself from her sight. “I need to see how he is before I talk to him, okay? Just…” The empty space let out a sigh. “Don’t tell him I’m here.”

She shot him a look, one that said ‘I have grave reservations about this’, however kept silent as they proceeded up to the front door. Isabelle gestured between Magnus and the lock with a raised eyebrow, clearly indicating that unlocking it for her would be a nice thing to do. It gave with a quiet “click”.

Slowly, Isabelle opened the door, calling “Alec?” as she did. No one wanted to startle a Shadowhunter, not if they wanted to survive the encounter. “Alec, are you here?” Magnus ducked quickly in behind her, moving to stand by the open front window before she slammed it behind her.

“Izzy?” A groggy voice emerged from behind the sofa, twisting Magnus’ heart. _Alexander._ A tousled dark head appeared over the back, soft brown eyes blinking like a kitten’s. “Izzy??”

“You asshole!” She ran over to the sofa, dragging him up onto his feet. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood how the fuck could you just disappear like that?!?!?” As she continued to yell and smack him, Magnus looked Alec over. Alexander looked… horrible. He was thinner. Tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping. His yearned to sweep him up in his arms, hold him close, never let him go again, a need so strong it had him reaching out his hands. Catching himself, he merely dropped them to his sides.

“Izzy! Izzy, stop!” Alec held up a hand to ward off his sister. “Just.. stop.”

“Alec, do you have any idea what you’ve done?” She threw her hands out in a gesture of frustration. “The Clave wants to hunt you down and de-rune you! At this point you’re lucky if that’s all they want to do!”

Closing his eyes, Alec breathed deeply. Without opening them he spoke quietly. “What did you come for, Izzy?” Taking another long breath, he continued. “What did _you_ come to take from me? Asmodeus took Magnus from me, The Clave wants my runes, what do _you_ want?” He voice took a sharp turn. “Do you want my sanity?” Alec breathed a third time, opening his eyes and stared straight at Magnus. “I know you’re here, Magnus. I know your scent, sandalwood and _you_.” The Shadowhunter didn’t react as the glamour dropped, revealing the warlock in the room. “Your magic is back. Nice to know your father lives up to his bargains.” Eyes never wavering from Magnus’, he snapped “You should go, Izzy.”

“Alec, I-”

Magnus opened a portal without turning his head, still staring at Alexander. “No, he’s right, Isabelle, this is between us, we need to talk it out. Go.”

Isabelle stood there, uncertainty showing on her face. “I-”

“Go, Izzy, NOW!”

The portal closing behind her, Magnus turned away from Alec. “So…”

“Why’re you here, Magnus. I remember clearly breaking up with you.” The words came out cold and impersonal, like they’d never shared bed, a home.

“Oh, you know..” Magnus tried to keep his voice light. “I- just to get away, see the sights, check and see how my bow is doing..” He pulled a small box out of his pocket and threw it to Alec. “And bring you this. You forgot it.”

Catching it in mid air – Shadowhunter reflexes – the other man flatly stated “I didn’t forget it, I don’t need it. I’ll never need it.” Magnus didn’t know words could cut so deep, hurt so much. It was a struggle to remain upbeat when he spoke. “Never say never, Alexander.”

“Alec.”

Magnus winced, but pressed on. “Ask me.”

“Ask you what?” Alec’s voice was guarded.

Crossing the gulf between them, he caught Alec’s face in gentle hands and said “Ask me to marry you, Alexander.” He ghosted a soft kiss across warm lips, felt the response from Alec.

“I.. I can’t, Magnus.” The reply came, was full of regret, pain, yearning.

“I know my father bargained with you for my magic, Alexander.” He tightened his grip on Alec’s face as if trying to absorb him into his skin. “Why? Why would you agree to that?!?”

Alec pulled away, tears filling his eyes. “How could I refuse?? How, Mags?” His voice caught on the nickname. “You were so unhappy, so miserable. How could I selfishly deny you the chance to get your magic back? Be immortal again?” He choked on the words. “Be the ‘High Warlock Of Brooklyn’ again?”

Magnus gave into his desires and pulled Alec into his arms. “I’m sorry, Alexander.” He stroked his fingers through the dark locks in a soothing gesture. “I’m so sorry.” He pulled Alec’s face to his, resting his forehead against the Shadowhunter’s. “I was upset about losing my magic because it was never my _choice_.”

“But you chose to help Jace-”

Magnus nodded, keeping his head against the Shadowhunter's. “Of course I’d choose to save your brother, Alexander, but it wasn’t MY choice. And I didn’t choose to have Lorenzo’s magic removed from me, you did.”

“To save you! It was killing you, Mags!”

Tears spilled out of his eyes as he brushed another kiss over the ones just beneath his own. “I know, Alexander, I know. But I didn’t get to choose.” Another gentle kiss. “But I would _always_ choose you, Alexander. Any choice between my magic and being with you is no choice, it’s always _you_.”

Alec bright his own hands up to cup Magnus’ face. “But if you lose your magic now because we’re together-”

“-then it’s a choice _I’ve_ made.” He drew the Shadowhunter into a longer kiss. He lifted away far enough to say, “If I wake up tomorrow with you and no magic, I’m good with that.” He kissed the tip of Alec’s nose, murmuring, “Ask me.”

“Mags, are you sure this is what you want?” Alexander moved to meet the warlock’s eyes, unglamoured in the way he knew Alec adored. He heard the “so beautiful” spoken almost reverently, soft thumbs grazing below those eyes.

“Ask me.” He snapped his fingers, smiling that flirty smile he knew his Shadowhunter loved. “In case you were doubting me, I’ve moved all your stuff back to the loft. Now you have to come home with me, _to_ me.”

“You got your loft back! Oh, Mags, I’m so happy for you!” Picking Magnus up, Alec whirled him around, laughing. “I bet Lorenzo _was_ pissed!”

“Oh yes, he made that _perfectly_ clear in his text message!” He nipped Alec’s lips in a swift kiss. “Ask me, Alexander.”

“Magnus, I…” Pulling open the box, Alec gazed at the ring. “I had a whole speech prepared, but now… All I know is that I never want to be without you again. Every time we do this, every time we break up, a part of me dies, Magnus. I can’t be whole without you.” He picked the ring out of it’s box, taking the warlock’s hand in his. “I’m not good with words, you know that. I just say what I feel, and I feel – I _know_ – that there will never be anyone else for me. I was so sure I’d never find that one person, be able to _love_ that one person until my last breath. But that’s you, Mags, only you. So please, will you do me the honour, the delight, the sheer pleasure of marrying me and making me whole for the rest of my life? I love you so much, more every second than the one that went before.” Tears graced the lean face, unheeded as he waited for the answer.

“Yes.” Grabbing Alec’s shirt, he yanked him into a hard kiss full of promises. “Even if it guaranteed I’d lose my magic, I’d say yes every single time.” He thumbed Alec’s tears away. “I love you so much, too, more than I have ever felt for someone in all my life.” The cool metal quickly warmed against his skin.

Triumphantly he opened a portal back to the loft, as if he’d somehow secretly feared his magic was gone. “Let’s go home, Shadowhunter.”

“Um, Mags, what would you have done if it hadn’t worked?”

Laughing, the warlock took out two plane tickets to New York out of his pocket. “Insurance. But it would've been a hella long walk to the airport.”


End file.
